Complete Guide: Overcoming The Guilty Parent Syndrome

Dad working instead of taking care of his daughter

It is not uncommon for parents to feel guilty about the decisions they make for their children. In some cases, this guilt can manifest itself in what is known as the guilty parent syndrome.

This condition can lead to several negative consequences for both the parent and the child. To overcome this syndrome, it is essential to understand its causes and effects. Additionally, parents need to learn how to manage their guilt in a healthy way.

What Is Guilty Parent Syndrome?

Guilty parent syndrome (GPS) is a condition characterized by feelings of guilt and anxiety that interfere with a parent’s ability to care for their child.

This guilt can be the result of many different things, such as:

  • Making decisions that the parent believes are not in the best interest of their child
  • Feeling like they are not doing enough for their child
  • Being unable to provide their child with what they need
  • Having to work long hours and feeling like they are missing out on important aspects of their child’s life

That said, the GPS can also be the result of a separation. For example, after a divorce, one parent might feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with their child as they would like.

GPS can have a number of negative consequences, both for the parent and the child.

These consequences can include:

  • The parent may become overprotective of the child, which can limit the child’s independence.
  • The parent may have difficulty setting and enforcing boundaries with the child.
  • The parent may be less likely to discipline the child, leading to behavioral problems.
  • The parent-child relationship may suffer as a result of the guilt and anxiety associated with GPS.

The child may also develop feelings of guilt, thinking that they are the cause of their parent’s stress.

Signs Of Guilty Parent Syndrome

You know you have Guilty Parent Syndrome when:

  1. You find yourself making excuses for your child’s bad behavior.
  2. You feel like you have to defend your parenting choices to others.
  3. You worry that people are judging you based on your child’s actions.
  4. You stress out about every little thing that could go wrong in your child’s life.
  5. You feel guilty for not spending enough time with your child.
  6. You find yourself constantly comparing your parenting skills to others.
  7. You feel like you’re never doing enough for your child.
  8. You worry about how your parenting is impacting your child’s future.
  9. You often feel guilty about the decisions you make as a parent.
  10. You second-guess yourself all the time when it comes to parenting.

How To Overcome Guilty Parent Syndrome

To overcome guilty parent syndrome, it is important to first understand its causes. Once you are aware of the things that trigger your guilt, you can begin to work on managing these emotions in a healthy way.

There are a few things you can do to overcome GPS:

  1. Talk to someone you trust about the guilty feelings you are experiencing. This can help you understand why you feel guilty and how to manage these emotions.
  2. Identify the things that trigger your guilty feelings. Once you know what these triggers are, you can avoid them or be prepared for them when they do occur.
  3. Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself is essential for managing any type of stress or anxiety. Be sure to schedule time for activities that help you relax and rejuvenate.
  4. Read my book. There’s a chapter dedicated to parent guilt. Grab your copy here.
  5. Seek professional help if your guilty feelings impact your ability to care for your child or cause you significant distress.

How To Let Go Of The Guilt

If you are a parent struggling with guilty feelings, know that you are not alone. GPS is a common condition that can be overcome with time and effort.

To let go of the guilt, start by practicing self-compassion. Cut yourself some slack and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. It is also important to talk to someone you trust about the guilty feelings you are experiencing. This can help you understand why you feel guilty and how to manage these emotions.

In addition, be sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Schedule time for activities that help you relax and rejuvenate. Seek professional help if your guilty feelings impact your ability to care for your child or cause you significant distress.

With time and effort, you can overcome guilty parent syndrome and feel better about yourself and your parenting skills.

What To Do If Guilty Parent Syndrome Comes Back To Haunt You

If you’re a parent, you may be all too familiar with the guilty parent syndrome. This is when you feel guilty for not being able to spend enough time with your children or for not being able to do everything for them. If this guilty feeling comes back to haunt you when you thought you had it under control, there are a few things you can do.

First, try to remember that you’re not the only one struggling with this. Many other parents feel guilty about not being able to spend enough time with their children. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this.

Second, try to find ways to connect with your children that don’t involve spending a lot of time with them. This could mean sending them a text or email during the day, calling them when you have a free minute, or even just sending them a postcard.

Third, try to focus on the positive things you are doing for your children. This could include making sure they have a healthy meal, spending time reading with them, or taking them to the park.

Then, try to set aside some time each week to spend with your children. This doesn’t have to be a lot of time, but it should be enough to really connect with them.

Final Thoughts On Feeling Guilty As A Parent

Guilty parent syndrome is a real thing, and it’s something that many parents struggle with. If you’re feeling guilty, know that you’re not alone.

There are things you can do to overcome this guilty feeling, including talking to someone about it, focusing on the positive things you’re doing for your children, and setting aside time each week to spend with them.

If you need extra help, you can schedule a call with me. I’ll be happy to talk with you about your guilty feelings and help you come up with a plan to overcome them. Click the button below to schedule a call.


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Sue Donnellan is a parenting coach who supports parents of kids ages 2 to 20, specializing in turning chaos into calm through proactive communication strategies. A mom of four (including triplets), military wife, entrepreneur, and author, Sue’s approach combines Montessori principles with proven methods to help families stop yelling, start listening, and create a thriving home environment.

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