Balanced Parenting Style: What You Need To Know

Mother and daughter

The term “balanced parenting” has become popular in recent years as more and more parents strive to find a parenting style that works for them and their families. But what is balanced parenting, exactly?

In this guide, I’ll explain what it means to be a balanced parent. I’ll also discuss strategies you can implement to develop a more balanced parenting style.

What Is Balanced Parenting?

Balanced parenting is a parenting style that focuses on creating a healthy balance between structure and flexibility, love and discipline, work and play. It’s about finding the right mix of parenting techniques to meet your child’s individual needs.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to balanced parenting. Every family is different, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to experiment and find what works best for you and your child.

Why Try Balanced Parenting?

There are many benefits to balance parenting. When you find the right balance for your family, you can create a loving and supportive home environment where your child feels safe to explore and grow.

A balanced approach to parenting can also help reduce stress and conflict. By providing both structure and flexibility, you can avoid power struggles and allow your child to develop a sense of self-regulation.

For example, if your child knows that there are set rules and expectations in the home, they will be less likely to test boundaries. But if those rules are too rigid, your child may feel suffocated and rebel.

Finding the right balance can take time and trial-and-error. But it’s worth it to create a happier, more harmonious home life for everyone.

How To Implement Balanced Parenting

There are many ways to implement a balanced parenting style.

Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Be Consistent With Your Expectations

It’s important to be consistent with your expectations for your child’s behavior. If you are clear and consistent in your expectations, your child will be more likely to meet them.

For example, if you expect your child to brush their teeth every morning, make sure you are consistent in reminding them and enforcing the rule. Don’t let them get away with skipping a day here or there.

2. Be Flexible When You Can

While it’s essential to be consistent, you must be flexible when you can. If your child is having a bad day, try to be understanding and give them some grace.

For example, if your child has issues at school and comes home in a bad mood, don’t expect them to do their homework immediately. Give them some time to relax and de-stress before getting back to work.

3. Set Firm Limits

It’s important to set firm limits with your child. This will help them feel secure and know what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.

For example, if you don’t want your child to hit, bite, or kick, make sure you are consistent in enforcing that rule. Explain to your child why hitting is not acceptable and what they should do instead.

4. Encourage Independence

Encouraging independence is an important part of balanced parenting. As your child grows, give them opportunities to make choices and solve problems on their own.

For example, instead of telling your child what to wear, give them some options and let them choose. Or, if they are having trouble finishing their homework, help them come up with a plan to get it done.

5. Show Lots of Love and Affection

Make sure you show your child lots of love and affection. This will help them feel secure and loved.

Try to set aside some time each day to read together or just talk. And don’t forget to praise your child when they do something well.

Understanding Your Parenting Style To Help You Transition

The first step to take when you want to move towards a more balanced parenting style is understanding your current parenting style. Once you know this, it will be easier to identify which areas you need to work on.

There are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and balanced.

  1. Authoritarian parenting is a style where parents have very high expectations and are very strict.
  2. Permissive parenting is the opposite, where parents have low expectations and are not very involved.
  3. Uninvolved parenting is when parents are emotionally distant and don’t really offer guidance or support.
  4. Balanced parenting is somewhere in the middle. It’s a style where parents have high expectations but are also loving and supportive.

If you want to transition to a more balanced parenting style, start by looking at your current parenting style. If you tend to be more authoritarian or permissive, try to find a happy medium.

For example, if you are very strict, try to loosen up a bit and give your child more choices. If you are very permissive, try to be more consistent with your expectations and rules.

Making The Transition To A More Balanced Parenting Style

If you want to move towards a more balanced parenting style, you must be patient and take things one step at a time. Making significant changes all at once is likely to be overwhelming for both you and your child.

Start by making small changes in the way you interact with your child. For example, if you tend to be very critical, try to focus on praising your child more. If you are usually very lenient, try to be more consistent with your rules.

It’s also important to be aware of your own emotions and stress levels. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a step back and give yourself some time to relax. It’s also ok to ask for help from friends or family if needed.

Transitioning to a more balanced parenting style takes time and effort, but it is possible.

Final Thoughts On Balanced Parenting

Balanced parenting is a style where parents have high expectations but are also loving and supportive. It’s a style that can be beneficial for both children and parents.

If you want to move towards a more balanced parenting style, start by looking at your current parenting style. Then, make small changes in the way you interact with your child. Be patient and be aware of your own emotions, and you will eventually reach a more balanced parenting style.

Explore more parenting strategies in my book Secrets to Parenting.

Need help with parenting? Schedule a call with me.


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Sue Donnellan is a Parenting Specialist and household transformer. She has worked with parents for over 15 years, helping them let go of what isn’t working and replace it with what does. With humor, wisdom and intuitiveness, Sue helps struggling parents emerge on the other side of their overwhelm with the mindset and skills to create a relationship of lifelong trust and respect with their children. 

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